Confidence Building Tools
Here's what your child can do to cope with moment of self-doubt, and increase his self-confidence.
There will be periods in your child's life when he realizes that perhaps he could do with gaining a little more confidence. Although you as a parent will do all you can to make your child confident and sure of himself, there may be moments of self-doubt. Teach your child what he can do to cope with these moments, and how he can increase his confidence levels.
Feel good
When your child is feeling a little down and out, it is very important that she dress well, to lift her spirits. The 'feel good' factor plays a major role in this, which is why some people feel good about themselves when they wear something new, or when they wear branded clothes. Just like wearing branded clothes can make you feel better about yourself, so also, wearing something torn or stained can make you feel more conscious and uncomfortable. This is why, if you go to a party wearing something stained, and hope that the stain is invisible in the light or that you have covered it with your bag, you will not be at your best or most impressive. So, teach your child the importance of being well groomed.
Not only will others take you more seriously, but you will also take yourself more seriously. On the other hand, if you make your child dress in a mediocre fashion, your child may develop a lower sense of self-worth.
Stay within budget
Of course, there is no point in spending more than you can afford, but you should spend within your budget, and buy the best you can afford without overextending yourself.
Be particular
So also, if your child's clothes rip, teach him that he should either get it stitched or darned immediately, or not wear it until he does so. There is no point in him wearing something torn, and hoping no body notices the tear.
How many of us have faced situations where when we are conversing with someone we hope he doesn't notice the faded collar on our t-shirt, the hair on our chin, the ill-* dress, the bad watch strap, and so on. Needless to say, such a conversation will not be one in which you are completely at ease, or have very high confidence in yourself. With all the stress laid on increasing your child's confidence, all the activities you will no doubt encourage your child to take up, it seems a shame to neglect the very basic things that can bring your child's confidence plummeting down.
Go to any public spot and take a good look around you. Certain people will catch your eye, while others will not. A few people are strikingly beautiful, while fewer still are uncommonly ugly. Most people can look attractive if they make an effort to do so. The person who catches your eye will be someone who dresses and walks well - it is only after giving a second or third look that you will really start observing the features of the person. Often, when you look at most people, you will need to observe them for a while before coming to any conclusions with regard to whether they have a pretty face or not. This is because what first strikes you about a person is his demeanour, and not the face. So, teach your daughters that it doesn't matter if their shirt is not that expensive - it should be well ironed and crisp. Similarly, it doesn't matter if your son's shoes are not very trendy - they should be polished and in good condition. So when your child looks in the mirror, instead of saying "I don't think my shirt looks too crushed," he should say, "Perfect!" .bmp)
Body hair
If your child has excessive body hair, don't comment on it. Children are constantly in the company of other children, and if her friends haven't commented on her excessive body hair, don't bring it up. The minute your child brings it up, you can then start thinking of solutions to her problem.
Then there are those mothers who believe that this is the age for their child to be focusing on studies, and things like excessive body hair should be the last concern on their mind. So even if the child comes up to her mother and says that she wants to get rid of the hair on her upper lip because other students make fun of her, her mother's response will be to tell her to ignore them and not to worry about such things at this age. Try and find a middle ground and be there for her.
Overweight
Make sure that even if your child has a few physical flaws, you are not the one to call attention to them. If your child is overweight, instead of constantly bringing the fact to her attention, serve low-calorie meals at the outset. Don't serve friend pakoras every evening and tell your child to eat less because he is overweight.
Mistakes
Every child makes mistakes. Instead of yelling at your child when he makes a mistake, ask him what he learnt from it. Ask him what he thinks he should do to prevent the mistake from happening again. Also, let him realize the damage that he has caused due to the mistake so he feels bad on his own and tries not to repeat the mistake.
Focus on your child's positive aspects at every time. Never tire of telling your child how if she works at it, she can achieve anything she sets her mind to. Don't limit your child's dreams. Encourage her to dream big, but also make her understand that the larger her dreams, the harder she will have to work and study to fulfill them. Also, teach your child to be realistic. Instead of filling your child's head with stories of people who made it big through sheer luck, instill the value of education in your child, especially if your child is good at studies. If your child is a very poor student, help her nurture other talents.
